“He knows that I’m worried about him, so he worries about my worrying.” - Taylor, recovering mom
The only person whose behavior you can control is you. Setting clear boundaries, respecting yourself and focusing on your own life enables you to stay sane and cope better. It also allows your loved one to experience the consequences of their actions and make informed choices for themselves.
The intent of this process is not to blame, but to highlight negative patterns that many fall into and to empower people to begin a new relationship with their loved one.
And contrary to what you may have been told or assumed, you, as a parent/family member, can actually play a big role in helping your loved one shift their motivation towards positive change. There are of course things you can do or say that push things in exactly the opposite direction from what you want (i.e., confrontation, the silent treatment, forcing change). I will expose you to a variety of skills you can use to turn motivation on and sustain it.
Your loved one has not “messed up” and the role of the treatment process is not to “fix” him or her.
As a result of my own recovery I get to blame my child's health challenges for:
Getting closer to my husband as we try to solve this challenge.
Getting closer to my other son and daughter as we had a common goal to solve.
My friends being a source of inspiration.
Incredible moments of authentic connection.
Breaking down the barriers between my in-laws as they were able to help and I started to value their support
Helping me communicate in a more empowering way.
Helping me to realize that every family has its challenges and that we have amazing strength in times of crisis
We understand that Substance Use Disorder is a condition that affects the entire family and thus, provides recovery services to support loved ones.
Active involvement of family members is a critical part of the treatment process and will have a positive affect on the addicted loved one.
The goal is to help parents understand how their behavior impacts the adolescent’s substance use so that the caregivers will be motivated to change their own behavior to promote the adolescent’s overall health.
All families are invited to fill out a questionnaire to enable a Family Recovery Support Specialist to best assess their needs.
Our BALM program is for families in pre-hab, treatment or aftercare.
Chris, a recovering parent, says, “In a perfect world, there’d be someone to take care of us, too. Hell, I want to go to treatment and participate in family programming but I can't take the time off to fly across the country. I have to work and pay for my son's treatment. Coaching is not expensive, but valuable, not to mention incredibly convenient.”
Our approach helps families get the best chance at sustained/long term recovery.
Our family-driven service model emphasizes and encourages participation in mindfulness, meditation, trauma work, service work, creativity, community, and joyful, sustainable living.
We can help a loved one at any stage of change, ranging from ‘I’m not even sure I have a substance problem’ all the way to ‘I just got out of rehab and want to go to A.A. meetings every day.’
We don’t judge how a person addresses their recovery from addiction. Maybe A.A. is helpful and they find everything they need there. If it’s not, we genuinely know there are many pathways to recovery.
We claim the best chance at sustained recovery because we facilitate a practice that offers a superior level of client connection and compassion, across a wide spectrum of recovery services, delivered over an extended period of time.
Our "whole family" recovery approach, for the best outcomes, can total one year of continuous involvement with the Family Recovery School™.
REMEMBER you child has not “messed up” and the role of the treatment process is not to “fix” him or her.
Alcoholism and drug addiction affects the whole family - young, teenage, or grown-up children; wives or husbands; brothers or sisters; parents or other relatives and friends. One family member addicted to alcohol and drugs means the whole family suffers.
Addiction is a family issue that stresses the family to the breaking point, impacts the stability of the home, the family's unity, mental health, physical health, finances, and overall family dynamics.
Without help, active addiction can totally disrupt family life and cause harmful effects that can last a lifetime.
Regrettably, no family is born with the knowledge of how to deal effectively with addiction. It is a skill that must be learned and practiced daily.
- NCAAD, National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence
Why does our approach work?
The "whole family intervention” approach works because it focuses on the total picture and all of the people and dynamics involved.
We do not single out the addicted loved one as “the problem” and we don't let labels and myths keep him or her from being held responsible for either fixing the problems or living with the consequences.
We work with the family members who want the situation to change, instead of obsessing on the addicted loved one and what they're doing, who a lot of the time has a vested interest in things staying the same.
It works because we focus on the people who want to change rather than trying to force change onto someone else. Whether dealing with a family, a couple, or anyone else, success always means working with whomever is motivated.
What do we cover?
change and motivation
accomodating reluctance to change
self-care and self rewards
address family specific strengths, needs and challenges
accessing community support
assertive referrals to specialized family services that are beyond our scope
coping with anxiety
importance of ongoing recovery management checkups as a means to improve the long-term outcomes
safety and support
coping with lapses
trust and forgiveness
discovering the power of choice
rebranding the family
creating mission statements for all family members
Discounts Discounts are available for veterans & active service members. Please call or message me for details.