Co-Parenting When Healthy Boundaries Are Not Supported

How do I deal with my child’s other parent when they are not supporting healthy boundaries and are providing an unhealthy model for my child?
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This is one of the most challenging questions I address when talking with parents struggling with a difficult child. The first place I’d like to start is with whether or not you should take legal action—custody changes, divorce, court order for treatment, etc. Much of the time, many of the differences parents describe are not serious enough to warrant or justify legal action. Courts are reluctant to intervene with a parent’s rights. Termination of parental rights is a very serious intrusion into the family, and it usually only applies in cases of severe neglect or abuse. This standard for abuse may include a significant lack of supervision, providing children with drugs or alcohol or using them in front of a child, or exposing a child to negative influences like domestic violence or sexual images. Even if you have every reason to believe that these dynamics exist between your parenting partner and your child, proving it in a courtroom can be very difficult. I think it’s a good idea to consult with a family law attorney in your state to understand what your options are even if you don’t decide to take further action. Doing this can create a sense of liberation and freedom when you feel like you and your child are victims of a toxic partner. Consulting with an outside source can also provide a reality check. While you may be experiencing great trauma and pain at the hands of the child’s other parent (hereafter referred to as the co-parent), an attorney can provide you with the perspective the law offers in matters such as these. Even if you are just wondering about your legal rights in a case like this, please do seek legal advice and weigh the pros and cons of pursuing legal action for changes to your child’s environment.

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