Every Life Matters: A Mother's Point of View

Being the mother of an addict thrust me into a world I never wanted to visit yet alone live in. This world was full of chaos, lies and feelings of both helplessness and hopelessness. I referred to this time as the roller coaster ride from hell. One day things are looking up, full of hope and promise, the next day life was spiraling out of control. Addiction was like that. Giving you the illusion of control. Controlling the addict. Controlling your reaction to the addiction. Controlling anything you could get your hands on. 

During this time I received a front row seat, hands on education into the world of addiction. At first I bought into the mindset that addiction was a self inflicted condition. That if my son really wanted to stop he would. I never understood the assault being inflicted on his brain and body by the opioids he used daily until the day he decided to detox at home. It wasn't by choice. He blew through his monthly supply in two weeks and had no money to add to his supply. Being a nurse I wasn't afraid. I really was so naive and knew very little about what to expect. 

The first day wasn't too bad. Some shakes, sweats, nausea and irritability. By the second day I was panicked. His body was raging war with itself. I was witnessing a medical nightmare. If I had any pills I would have demanded he take them to stop the madness. I learned from that experience that addiction was not self inflicted. Addicts must continue to use in order to live. If they don't the brain and nervous system wage a war the addict will never survive.

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