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Family Addiction Recovery: A Blog

Reflections From a Young Adult: Love Thy Self

5/3/2016

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A message from my son.

So much of our culture thrusts upon us the habits of reflecting on all of the unfortunate things we have done, all of the disturbing mistakes we have made, all of things that are wrong with us that need fixing. We are told that we have to constantly make ourselves better, that to be happy we have to make more money, we have to be more muscular, have a more attractive partner, etc, etc.

Even deceivingly spiritual practices are part of this addiction to self-improvement. We meditate so that we may have better focus on work and make more money, we practice asana so that we can have a sexier more desirable body. 

The problem is that in remaining so transfixed on our (perceived) flaws there can be no satisfaction. Because even when you achieve the goal you punished yourself to reach you’re finding inadequacies in yourself and onto the next tier of self improvement.

How rarely do we tell ourselves that we are actually good enough? How rarely do we celebrate what is actually exceptional and beautiful about ourselves? Do we ever rest without comparing ourselves to others, focusing on how we’re not exactly what we, our parents, our culture, our friends tell us we’re supposed to be? 

It’s hard to love ourselves. It’s really hard. I’m not quite fully there yet. But every once in a while I get a taste of wisdom, a glimpse into how it can be when you stop, when you rest, when you let This be enough…

I occasionally post things like this, not because I am in anyway realized, or for mere virtue signaling, but because these writings are reminders to myself. And chances are you need the reminder as much as I do. 

Maybe we can start by choosing to consciously appreciate a few things about ourselves every day?

Jake Kobrin;  
http://jkobrinart.bigcartel.com/
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    Timothy Harrington is passionate about helping family members of the addicted loved one awaken to their own power and purpose.

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  • Home
  • About
    • Lead Family Recovery Support Specialist >
      • Endorsements
  • Resources
    • An Exercise
    • Stigma
    • Trauma >
      • Signs of Unresolved Trauma
      • Gabor Mate on Trauma
    • Grief
    • Shame
    • Anxiety
    • Addiction >
      • What is addiction?
      • Addiction, A Family Challenge
    • Self-Compassion
    • Mindfulness
    • Treatment Partners
    • Coaching vs. Therapy
    • A Consumer Checklist for Checking Out Rehabs
    • Spiritual Resources
    • Apps
    • Mental Health Resources for Teens
    • Denver Community Resources
  • Services
    • Interventions >
      • Enabling, Rescuing and Controlling
      • Identifying and Establishing Personal Boundaries
    • B.A.L.M. Family Member Recovery Program
    • Testimonials
    • Family Questionnaire
  • Connect
  • Blog
  • Referring Professionals
    • Education & Inspiration for Professionals
    • License The B.A.L.M.
    • Speaking to Your Families