Family Addiction Recovery: A Blog
The 10 Priorities serve as the compass for parents and their families who seek to improve their parenting skills, create stronger family relationships, and even contribute to their own personal growth.
PRIORITY #1 – Truth Over Harmony
We all want honest families. We also want everyone to get along. Which do we want more? This priority calls upon parents to put the weight of their feet on the side of truth.
PRIORITY #2 – Principles Over Rules
We tend to apply rules when things are starting to spin out of control. (e.g., “There is no eating in THAT room, either!”) Rules must be guided by deep principles.
PRIORITY #3 – Attitude Over Aptitude
Schools, families, and society, in general, would be much healthier if we valued attitude over aptitude, effort over ability, and character over talent. Parents often send the message that successful outcomes are more important than honest efforts.
PRIORITY #4 – Set High Expectations and Let Go Of The Outcomes
Discipline alone will not properly raise our children. We need to aim high with our expectations and resist “lowering the bar” when we sense that our children are having difficulty achieving success. Letting go of the outcome allows our children to take responsibility for their actions.
PRIORITY #5 – Value Success And Failure
Today’s parents have a hard time letting their children fail. Success is important, but failure can teach powerful lifelong lessons leading to profound personal growth.
PRIORITY #6 – Allowing Obstacles To Become Opportunities
We can get caught up in trying to “fix” our children’s problems (e.g., disagreements with their teachers, coaches, etc.) instead of seeing the potential for positive learning opportunities.
PRIORITY #7 – Taking Hold And Letting Go
It is hard to watch our children struggle with life’s challenges. When should we step in? When should we step away? This is one of the toughest parenting dilemmas.
PRIORITY #8 – Create A Character Culture
This priority can help parents create an atmosphere of character in the home through the application of a three-point plan: a daily job, a weekly family meeting, and a concept called “mandatory fun.”
PRIORITY #9 – Humility To Ask For And Accept Help
While parents focus on helping their children, many avoid asking others for help. Consequently, they raise children who do not ask for help.
PRIORITY #10 – Inspiration: Job #1
Regardless of what they might say or do, teens share a deep yearning to be inspired by their parents. Ironically, we will not inspire our children with our achievements. We best inspire them when we share our struggles, reach for our best, and model daily character.
Developed by Hyde School
Bath, Maine | Woodstock, Connecticut
Timothy Harrington is passionate about helping family members of the addicted loved one awaken to their own power and purpose.