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Family Addiction Recovery: A Blog

Words of Blame, Words of Shame

11/8/2015

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I hate the words.  Enable.  Enabler.  Enabling.

“He wouldn’t be in so much trouble if his parents didn’t enable him.”

“She’s an enabler.”  

“I feel sorry for that family – they’re constantly enabling her.”

They are harsh words, often spoken with a slight hint of scorn. They are words of blame, words that carry a heavy load of shame.
 
Too often we use words without thinking much about their implications, so let’s take a closer look at “enable.”

“Enable” means to allow, facilitate, permit, make possible. (I love my trusty Thesaurus, which leads me down all sorts of untraveled word pathways.)

Allow means to let, to permit, agree to, consent to, tolerate.  

Facilitate means to make easy, make possible, smooth the progress of, help, aid, assist.

Permit means to authorize, sanction, give your blessing to.

Enough already.

Tap here to cont.
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    Timothy Harrington is passionate about helping family members of the addicted loved one awaken to their own power and purpose.

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  • Home
  • About
    • Lead Family Recovery Support Specialist >
      • Endorsements
  • Resources
    • An Exercise
    • Stigma
    • Trauma >
      • Signs of Unresolved Trauma
      • Gabor Mate on Trauma
    • Grief
    • Shame
    • Anxiety
    • Addiction >
      • What is addiction?
      • Addiction, A Family Challenge
    • Self-Compassion
    • Mindfulness
    • Treatment Partners
    • Coaching vs. Therapy
    • A Consumer Checklist for Checking Out Rehabs
    • Spiritual Resources
    • Apps
    • Mental Health Resources for Teens
    • Denver Community Resources
  • Services
    • Interventions >
      • Enabling, Rescuing and Controlling
      • Identifying and Establishing Personal Boundaries
    • B.A.L.M. Family Member Recovery Program
    • Testimonials
    • Family Questionnaire
  • Connect
  • Blog
  • Referring Professionals
    • Education & Inspiration for Professionals
    • License The B.A.L.M.
    • Speaking to Your Families