Testimonials
K, recovering parent
It took me a couple of weeks but I feel like I just started comprehending the information about healing, centering, meditation, etc.. In the beginning I just couldn't hear it. I was too focused on my son.
You have given me so much in our time with your group. I was blown away by the concept of being "okay" in the midst of these battles, that we were organized around the substance abuse, that we need to work as hard on OUR recovery as our son does on his. I had been thinking that "love the heck out of the addict" was the best thing, but my old pattern of going on lockdown and "punishing" my son into recovery had emerged. I picture this as us drowning in a sea of confusion and you are there, in the midst of the storm, not with a life jacket or boat, but there showing and telling us how NOT to drown. I am SO HAPPY to just have someone validate that we can survive this well and not let it ruin my life forever, like I have seen for years in my family. As I told you, my upbringing was full of chaos, addiction, codependency type of behaviors. I had worked very hard to move on from this, but I hadn't as much as I thought. Your wisdom and guidance in the group is helping me get started on this work again which can only benefit me, my marriage, my parenting, and of course, my son. I love the concept of being a loving mirror.
So, thank you for everything. Your passion for healing of families is evident and clearly making changes in peoples' lives.
It took me a couple of weeks but I feel like I just started comprehending the information about healing, centering, meditation, etc.. In the beginning I just couldn't hear it. I was too focused on my son.
You have given me so much in our time with your group. I was blown away by the concept of being "okay" in the midst of these battles, that we were organized around the substance abuse, that we need to work as hard on OUR recovery as our son does on his. I had been thinking that "love the heck out of the addict" was the best thing, but my old pattern of going on lockdown and "punishing" my son into recovery had emerged. I picture this as us drowning in a sea of confusion and you are there, in the midst of the storm, not with a life jacket or boat, but there showing and telling us how NOT to drown. I am SO HAPPY to just have someone validate that we can survive this well and not let it ruin my life forever, like I have seen for years in my family. As I told you, my upbringing was full of chaos, addiction, codependency type of behaviors. I had worked very hard to move on from this, but I hadn't as much as I thought. Your wisdom and guidance in the group is helping me get started on this work again which can only benefit me, my marriage, my parenting, and of course, my son. I love the concept of being a loving mirror.
So, thank you for everything. Your passion for healing of families is evident and clearly making changes in peoples' lives.
Jenny & Matthew, recovering parents
What we learned in the Family Recovery School:
What we learned in the Family Recovery School:
- To focus of our life, rather than just on our son's life.
- We're learned how to change our responses to our son and other people in the family.
- Tim helped us to gain independence from the addictive behavior.
- We focused on the impact the addiction is having on our life and the associated behaviors.
- We learned that although our son may have a problematic habit, he is more than just the habit so we no longer use or encourage the use of labels, such as diseased, alcoholic or addict.
- We have learned that addiction is not a person.
- We learned that we are not “powerless” over addiction. We have discovered the power of choice!
- We learned that by focusing on our own thoughts, feelings and behavior we will make our own life more manageable.
- Changing OUR behaviors has had a positive effect on our son.
- We have seen an improvement in all our relationships.
- This process has allowed us to take back control of our life.
- We were supported, while we developed the skills necessaryfor sustainable change.
- We were coached to be compassionate with ourselves.
- We were coached to be patient with ourselves, yet persistent in our goals.
- Over time the coaching helped us to change beliefs and develop new ways of behaving around our son.
- The foundation of the process is the 3p’s (PPP) Practice, Patience, Persistence
- We learned ways of improving our own life.
- We learned how to be in a healthy relationship with someone who isn't always going to do what we want them to do. But hey that's parenting, right?
Ed & Marne Holstein, recovering parents
"Our son hit bottom in November of 2012. Having been in out of treatment for over 6 years we were afraid we were finally going to lose him. We were desperate and didn't know where to turn when Tim was recommended to us. As a change coach he took over and helped guide us through the turbulent weeks and months ahead. Tim mentored us in writing intervention letters to our son, selecting the best in patient treatment facility for him, traveling with him and coordinating his treatment regimen both during and most importantly after his discharge. For the first 6 months we had weekly phone consultations with Tim during which he would update us on our sons progress and advise us on how to interact with him during this critical period. After his discharge, he advised us on the best options for housing, selecting the best therapist and getting him active in the local AA chapter and getting a sponsor.
Our son has been sober for 15 months and is living a happy, productive and healthy life. There are no guarantees but we finally feel like we have our son back for the first time in over 10 years. We credit Tim for helping us put all the pieces together that gave him the best chance for discovering the road to recovery. Tim, we thank you and Sustainable Recovery from the bottom of our hearts."
"Our son hit bottom in November of 2012. Having been in out of treatment for over 6 years we were afraid we were finally going to lose him. We were desperate and didn't know where to turn when Tim was recommended to us. As a change coach he took over and helped guide us through the turbulent weeks and months ahead. Tim mentored us in writing intervention letters to our son, selecting the best in patient treatment facility for him, traveling with him and coordinating his treatment regimen both during and most importantly after his discharge. For the first 6 months we had weekly phone consultations with Tim during which he would update us on our sons progress and advise us on how to interact with him during this critical period. After his discharge, he advised us on the best options for housing, selecting the best therapist and getting him active in the local AA chapter and getting a sponsor.
Our son has been sober for 15 months and is living a happy, productive and healthy life. There are no guarantees but we finally feel like we have our son back for the first time in over 10 years. We credit Tim for helping us put all the pieces together that gave him the best chance for discovering the road to recovery. Tim, we thank you and Sustainable Recovery from the bottom of our hearts."
Chris Lutz, recovering parent
To have someone in your corner, both for the recovering addict and also the rest of the family is invaluable! Tim Harrington comes to the table with life experience, knowledge, and great communication skills.
He is a great sounding board, a thought provoking resource, a guide and a mentor. He invites us to think some new thoughts and learn some new behaviors. He challenges both our son and our family to create a NEW beginning and allow time to show that it works. It was amazing to have someone who finally understood my feelings of desperation and not knowing what to do next.
Through this journey he encourages, has empathy and yet won’t leave you “stranded”. You feel empowered to be proactive and learn from someone who has already “ been there...done that”.
I appreciate the times he’s spent working with us as a team to rebuild the lost time we’ve had as a family and to see our son flourish and grow. He reminds us of how far we’ve come and the reasons to stay focused.
His resources are great! I know that having Tim as our coach has been pivotal on this journey OUT of addiction and it’s hold on our family. Thanks Tim for your dedication. We appreciate you very much!
To have someone in your corner, both for the recovering addict and also the rest of the family is invaluable! Tim Harrington comes to the table with life experience, knowledge, and great communication skills.
He is a great sounding board, a thought provoking resource, a guide and a mentor. He invites us to think some new thoughts and learn some new behaviors. He challenges both our son and our family to create a NEW beginning and allow time to show that it works. It was amazing to have someone who finally understood my feelings of desperation and not knowing what to do next.
Through this journey he encourages, has empathy and yet won’t leave you “stranded”. You feel empowered to be proactive and learn from someone who has already “ been there...done that”.
I appreciate the times he’s spent working with us as a team to rebuild the lost time we’ve had as a family and to see our son flourish and grow. He reminds us of how far we’ve come and the reasons to stay focused.
His resources are great! I know that having Tim as our coach has been pivotal on this journey OUT of addiction and it’s hold on our family. Thanks Tim for your dedication. We appreciate you very much!
DQ, a person in long-term recovery
"After many dark years in addiction, I was trying to find a path to recovery. I had known Tim for some time, and I called him and asked for his help. He came the following day with a suitcase. Over the next month, we went to Denver for outpatient treatment, lived in a two-bed hotel room, and spent time together I will remember fondly and for the rest of my life. Tim did not judge me, he did not tell me what to do, and he did not make decisions for me. He supported me unconditionally with his love, his strength, and his own experience. Tim taught me how to live my life in a way that aligned with my deepest beliefs and values, and, in time, I have come to experience that which I had always sought in my addiction but never found--true and living joy, happiness, and contentment. Tim's ideas and methods exist on the very edge of contemporary thought and practice regarding addiction, and they are tremendously powerful and effective. Tim was there the day I got clean, and he is in my life today. Tim has become one of the closest friends I've ever had. His gifts have benefitted me profoundly and have changed the very course of my life. I am unspeakably grateful for Tim's friendship, his love, his strength, and his guidance."
"After many dark years in addiction, I was trying to find a path to recovery. I had known Tim for some time, and I called him and asked for his help. He came the following day with a suitcase. Over the next month, we went to Denver for outpatient treatment, lived in a two-bed hotel room, and spent time together I will remember fondly and for the rest of my life. Tim did not judge me, he did not tell me what to do, and he did not make decisions for me. He supported me unconditionally with his love, his strength, and his own experience. Tim taught me how to live my life in a way that aligned with my deepest beliefs and values, and, in time, I have come to experience that which I had always sought in my addiction but never found--true and living joy, happiness, and contentment. Tim's ideas and methods exist on the very edge of contemporary thought and practice regarding addiction, and they are tremendously powerful and effective. Tim was there the day I got clean, and he is in my life today. Tim has become one of the closest friends I've ever had. His gifts have benefitted me profoundly and have changed the very course of my life. I am unspeakably grateful for Tim's friendship, his love, his strength, and his guidance."
Peter O., person in long-term discovery
"Tim lives his recovery and his service to it. If you need any help for yourself, a friend or family member who is having a hard time with addiction, Tim is a trustworthy and invaluable, completely reliable and confidential, source of service and information.
Tim is not the same person as Ticht Nhat Hanh, but many of his online comments lately have led me to nickname him 'Tim Nhat Hanh'. He is a wise man who can help people look inwards at themselves.
Do not hesitate to contact him if you may need to avail yourself or someone close to you of his services, his capabilities and his help. He can get people through and out of what many may feel is an impossible situation."
Forever grateful,
"Tim lives his recovery and his service to it. If you need any help for yourself, a friend or family member who is having a hard time with addiction, Tim is a trustworthy and invaluable, completely reliable and confidential, source of service and information.
Tim is not the same person as Ticht Nhat Hanh, but many of his online comments lately have led me to nickname him 'Tim Nhat Hanh'. He is a wise man who can help people look inwards at themselves.
Do not hesitate to contact him if you may need to avail yourself or someone close to you of his services, his capabilities and his help. He can get people through and out of what many may feel is an impossible situation."
Forever grateful,
BALM Recovering Parent, South Carolina
With a large diverse family that has been affected by alcoholism and addiction, I can shout out from the mountain top that the BALM Program has saved my life over and over again.
As a longtime member of al anon, the BALM Program has enhanced my program and given me additional tools for living life to the fullest on life's terms.
I would recommend the BALM Program to anyone who is being consumed by a loved one’s life of addiction.
The peace and serenity I have gained by practicing the BALM Program is a priceless gift that has helped my entire family.
A BALM Recovering Parent, Massachusetts
As an employee of a state Family Court for thirty-seven and one half years, I dealt daily with families in crisis due to addiction to alcohol, street and/or prescription drugs, gambling and other similar addictions. Then my own family was touched by addiction. After my loved one became sober, their addiction counselor referred me to the BALM Program, developed and run by Beverly Buncher.
Through the BALM Program, my family was able to learn and develop skills for dealing with an addicted loved one in a positive and loving manner. It contributed directly to the well- being of our family and its’ members. It also teaches you to be calm through meditation, breathing and other techniques that contribute to your healing.
Through the BALM theory, you learn to heal and nurture yourself after the devastating realization that your family has been touched by addiction and to use your skills to help your loved one through the difficult process of obtaining and maintaining sobriety.
BALM teaches you to “Be a Loving Mirror”, to teach through your example. You will learn how to use the skills taught by BALM to better deal with the issues that come up with your loved one. It is true that what BALM teaches you, it helps you be “your loved-one’s best chance at recovery.”
As a BALM participant through its’ several programs, you will hear from professionals in the field of addiction and recovery as well as from recovered addicts themselves. They relate their own personal stories leaving you with the understanding that you are not alone.
BALM has lifted a great weight from my shoulders and has left me with skills that not only work to help me and my loved one, but also with skills that can be used in other areas of life where you interact with others, such as at work and other social groups.
BALM’s website is easily accessible and gives you 24/7 access to the Lessons taught and testimonials given to let you listen again to any and all Lessons taught by BALM, past and present. BALM is truly a lifeline for everyone who takes advantage of its’ many offerings. I will be forever grateful to the BAM family.
BALM Recovering Parent, Nevada
BALM is about communicating with love. I learned every addict deserves love, dignity and respect.
My son, a type 1 diabetic @ age eight went to college and lost himself. His erratic behavior baffled me. For two years he had mental health professionals telling us it was me and my protective ways. "He is fine, simply clip the wings."
Insulin dependent children can make the most laid back parents somewhat controlling. I was convinced I was the problem. I did a lot of inner work "letting go" yet his behavior continued growing out of control.
When I discovered he was using Kratom a synthetic drug undetectable via testing I was happy to know I wasn't crazy but now what?
Heartbroken, lost and confused a physician friend recommended coaching/ BALM for this difficult "journey."
Journey? I wanted this fixed immediately. I recall my words, "just stop." I had no idea he'd require treatment.
Sadly, with passage of time, he had developed the "art of refusal" and convinced me he would die before going to treatment. I knew my conversations needed to be heard at the deepest level imaginable.
BALM taught me how to have loving conversations with healthy boundaries.
Thanks to BALM I was able to have a calm face-to-face intervention conversation with him.
He heard my heart and knew I was committed to "loving him to life vs loving him to death". He agreed to an intense wilderness program and transitioned into a long term structured sober living home.
He is 10 months sober and the insanity has stopped. Initially I signed up for the twelve week (continues throughout the year) course with coaching and then opted to take the seven week course. I reenrolled this year and suspect I'll be a BALMER for life.
Jim Graham, Certified BALM Family Recovery Life Coach, BALM Recovering Family Member
Addiction is a one-way trip of taking and isolation. Yet, the very act of taking addictive substances is only part of the problem.
Addictive thinking and behavior passes from generation to generation even if there is no using.
My chain has been broken because of The Balm. Working the BALM recovers our natural relationships.
Today my family resolves issues in a Balm way instead of the addicted ways. I am a better parent because of the BALM. Instead of using control and anger to manage my family, I use love and loving conversation.
The BALM provides a clear path to family recovery. I learned what a boundary is and how to set one. The BALM has helped me be more aware of how I show up for the addict and myself.
Jill Prevas, BALM Family Recovery Life Coach, BALM Recovering Parent Pennsylvania
I have a passion to work with people trapped in the family disease of addiction. When I discovered The BALM program, I realized this was a great way for me to fulfill this passion.
My husband and I have direct experience with the disease of addiction. In 2009 we discovered that our beautiful 17-year-old daughter was a full blown heroin addict. At this time, the BALM was not in existence. My husband and I followed the traditional route of attending Alanon meetings. Fortunately, Alanon provided family healing and recovery for us.
Our daughter also received sobriety through a lot of work on her part and a lot of money spent by us on treatment facilities. Unfortunately, our family story is not the norm. Most family members do not go to Alanon, for whatever reason, they jump right in and try to manage and fix their loved one’s addiction.
As a result, the cycle of family addiction continues. The BALM Family Comprehensive changes all of that. A structure of change is provided. The family member receives education on the disease of addiction. They also become part of a community that provides support and encouragement.
As a family member begins to implement the BALM principles they realize a transformation is taking place. They receive the tools to mirror love back to their family member, instead of shame and blame. They also learn how to "be a loving mirror" to themselves.
I am now a Certified BALM Family Recovery Coach and get to see firsthand, these wonderful changes take place in my client's lives! I am so grateful that I have the professional tools needed to coach family members through the trials and sometimes craziness of addiction.
Stacey K., recovering parent
The B.A.L.M. family member recovery program and private coaching is like taking years of Alanon and putting it into 12 weeks. The two are a wonderful combo together. B.A.L.M. has brought me to a more center of calmness and has helped me come from a place of love when dealing with my son. In addition, it has helped dealing with others I interact with in my life. My conversations with my son have changed drastically after learning to script and remembering to Be A Loving Mirror. The live interactive calls, B.A.L.M. principles, 7 steps to B.A.L.M. and calls with my assigned recovery buddy have been such a blessing to my own recovery and also in supporting my son's recovery (not his disease). I could go on longer, this is a condensed version of my love of the B.A.L.M. program.
With a large diverse family that has been affected by alcoholism and addiction, I can shout out from the mountain top that the BALM Program has saved my life over and over again.
As a longtime member of al anon, the BALM Program has enhanced my program and given me additional tools for living life to the fullest on life's terms.
I would recommend the BALM Program to anyone who is being consumed by a loved one’s life of addiction.
The peace and serenity I have gained by practicing the BALM Program is a priceless gift that has helped my entire family.
A BALM Recovering Parent, Massachusetts
As an employee of a state Family Court for thirty-seven and one half years, I dealt daily with families in crisis due to addiction to alcohol, street and/or prescription drugs, gambling and other similar addictions. Then my own family was touched by addiction. After my loved one became sober, their addiction counselor referred me to the BALM Program, developed and run by Beverly Buncher.
Through the BALM Program, my family was able to learn and develop skills for dealing with an addicted loved one in a positive and loving manner. It contributed directly to the well- being of our family and its’ members. It also teaches you to be calm through meditation, breathing and other techniques that contribute to your healing.
Through the BALM theory, you learn to heal and nurture yourself after the devastating realization that your family has been touched by addiction and to use your skills to help your loved one through the difficult process of obtaining and maintaining sobriety.
BALM teaches you to “Be a Loving Mirror”, to teach through your example. You will learn how to use the skills taught by BALM to better deal with the issues that come up with your loved one. It is true that what BALM teaches you, it helps you be “your loved-one’s best chance at recovery.”
As a BALM participant through its’ several programs, you will hear from professionals in the field of addiction and recovery as well as from recovered addicts themselves. They relate their own personal stories leaving you with the understanding that you are not alone.
BALM has lifted a great weight from my shoulders and has left me with skills that not only work to help me and my loved one, but also with skills that can be used in other areas of life where you interact with others, such as at work and other social groups.
BALM’s website is easily accessible and gives you 24/7 access to the Lessons taught and testimonials given to let you listen again to any and all Lessons taught by BALM, past and present. BALM is truly a lifeline for everyone who takes advantage of its’ many offerings. I will be forever grateful to the BAM family.
BALM Recovering Parent, Nevada
BALM is about communicating with love. I learned every addict deserves love, dignity and respect.
My son, a type 1 diabetic @ age eight went to college and lost himself. His erratic behavior baffled me. For two years he had mental health professionals telling us it was me and my protective ways. "He is fine, simply clip the wings."
Insulin dependent children can make the most laid back parents somewhat controlling. I was convinced I was the problem. I did a lot of inner work "letting go" yet his behavior continued growing out of control.
When I discovered he was using Kratom a synthetic drug undetectable via testing I was happy to know I wasn't crazy but now what?
Heartbroken, lost and confused a physician friend recommended coaching/ BALM for this difficult "journey."
Journey? I wanted this fixed immediately. I recall my words, "just stop." I had no idea he'd require treatment.
Sadly, with passage of time, he had developed the "art of refusal" and convinced me he would die before going to treatment. I knew my conversations needed to be heard at the deepest level imaginable.
BALM taught me how to have loving conversations with healthy boundaries.
Thanks to BALM I was able to have a calm face-to-face intervention conversation with him.
He heard my heart and knew I was committed to "loving him to life vs loving him to death". He agreed to an intense wilderness program and transitioned into a long term structured sober living home.
He is 10 months sober and the insanity has stopped. Initially I signed up for the twelve week (continues throughout the year) course with coaching and then opted to take the seven week course. I reenrolled this year and suspect I'll be a BALMER for life.
Jim Graham, Certified BALM Family Recovery Life Coach, BALM Recovering Family Member
Addiction is a one-way trip of taking and isolation. Yet, the very act of taking addictive substances is only part of the problem.
Addictive thinking and behavior passes from generation to generation even if there is no using.
My chain has been broken because of The Balm. Working the BALM recovers our natural relationships.
Today my family resolves issues in a Balm way instead of the addicted ways. I am a better parent because of the BALM. Instead of using control and anger to manage my family, I use love and loving conversation.
The BALM provides a clear path to family recovery. I learned what a boundary is and how to set one. The BALM has helped me be more aware of how I show up for the addict and myself.
Jill Prevas, BALM Family Recovery Life Coach, BALM Recovering Parent Pennsylvania
I have a passion to work with people trapped in the family disease of addiction. When I discovered The BALM program, I realized this was a great way for me to fulfill this passion.
My husband and I have direct experience with the disease of addiction. In 2009 we discovered that our beautiful 17-year-old daughter was a full blown heroin addict. At this time, the BALM was not in existence. My husband and I followed the traditional route of attending Alanon meetings. Fortunately, Alanon provided family healing and recovery for us.
Our daughter also received sobriety through a lot of work on her part and a lot of money spent by us on treatment facilities. Unfortunately, our family story is not the norm. Most family members do not go to Alanon, for whatever reason, they jump right in and try to manage and fix their loved one’s addiction.
As a result, the cycle of family addiction continues. The BALM Family Comprehensive changes all of that. A structure of change is provided. The family member receives education on the disease of addiction. They also become part of a community that provides support and encouragement.
As a family member begins to implement the BALM principles they realize a transformation is taking place. They receive the tools to mirror love back to their family member, instead of shame and blame. They also learn how to "be a loving mirror" to themselves.
I am now a Certified BALM Family Recovery Coach and get to see firsthand, these wonderful changes take place in my client's lives! I am so grateful that I have the professional tools needed to coach family members through the trials and sometimes craziness of addiction.
Stacey K., recovering parent
The B.A.L.M. family member recovery program and private coaching is like taking years of Alanon and putting it into 12 weeks. The two are a wonderful combo together. B.A.L.M. has brought me to a more center of calmness and has helped me come from a place of love when dealing with my son. In addition, it has helped dealing with others I interact with in my life. My conversations with my son have changed drastically after learning to script and remembering to Be A Loving Mirror. The live interactive calls, B.A.L.M. principles, 7 steps to B.A.L.M. and calls with my assigned recovery buddy have been such a blessing to my own recovery and also in supporting my son's recovery (not his disease). I could go on longer, this is a condensed version of my love of the B.A.L.M. program.
The Parallel Process
"How a family operates isn't the primary focus of treatment programs, because the child is the identified client. Parents are seen predominantly as functional and responsible adults—after all, the child is the one who's lying, skipping school, harming herself, delaying his education, and potentially ruining her future. She's the one sent to treatment. However, from a family-system's perspective, the home won't change unless the parents also examine their contributions to the discordant parent–child dynamics. Many parents have been so entangled in their child's struggles for years, they've assumed certain roles: rescuer, lecturer, fixer, enabler, or yeller. Others have shut down emotionally and withdrawn, avoiding the home, averting conflict, and incessantly looking for distractions.”
Excerpt From: Krissy Pozatek. “The Parallel Process.”
Excerpt From: Krissy Pozatek. “The Parallel Process.”